New Year, New Me

Cliché, I know. But in a lot of ways, I do mean it. 

Catching Up

Wow, I can't believe it has been so many months since I've last posted here. Probably because I've taken to journaling in a physical format as opposed to this digital one. But I don't carry that journal with me to work, so sometimes I suppose it makes sense that I journal here when I have a random strike of inspiration.

Firstly, I've finished reading The Path of Paganism mentioned in my previous post. While I found it interesting, I was left with the impression that the author could not speak convincingly on several key (for me) issues. Ethics and morality were downplayed to simply environmental stewardship, religion to only the basest of possible understanding - overall, I was left wanting. So I gave up completely.

Just kidding. Of course I didn't give up; I kept on reading from other sources. The book that I'm currently reading is Walking With the Gods by Dr. W. D. Wilkerson - a compilation of surveys from several modern-day polytheists who explain their belief system and effectively how they ended up in those systems. I find it very fascinating, if not a bit confusing. However, I get the sense that confusing is precisely what the Divine is, sometimes. If the Divine is truly numinous, then it stands to reason that it is infinite and we mere mortals cannot truly comprehend it.

Mere surveys alone have not been able to sate my curiosity and desire to learn, though, so I've also been doing a ton of research online. From historical and modern Witchcraft (shout out to my partners for letting me be a part of their practices and experience it for myself!), to pagan reconstruction efforts of Religio Romana and Hellenismos, to neopagan expressions that are largely syncretic, I've been surrounding myself in research and then exploring my own personal beliefs on the ideas therein. I'd need a lot more blogspace to dig into each of these, but suffice to say that I've been learning a ton and doing a lot of reflection!

Current Thoughts

Now that we're caught up, I just want to take a quick moment and document where my personal beliefs currently lie.

I find that this research has allowed me to move away from contemplating the particulars of the Divine to contemplating the nature of the Divine. Such a move is actually quite liberating in a lot of ways and has allowed me to start asking questions about who the Divine is and how to cultivate that relationship, instead of only being able to look back through a narrow lens of history and frame questions within one particular experience of Divinity. 

I also find myself looking at the stars more. I've always had a fascination with the stars - especially how insignificant we appear to be in the universe, but now I find myself also listening to the stars. Paying attention to patterns, odd phenomenon that seem to break out of the norm, etc. and how those things may relate to things happening in the world and in my life. 

Finally, I've also felt a strong (yet fleeting) call of the divine that had actual consequences in my life in very short order. Perhaps this is the most interesting thing that has happened so far. It's still hard to put this into words at this point - more to come, I hope. 

Final Notes

I'm incredibly lucky to have partners that support me in every way imaginable. It is a situation that has allowed me to grow personally while also encouraging growth in my partners. Our relationship has certainly influenced how I view the world and ultimately will shape how I find the Divine. I can't wait to see where this journey leads!